Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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