I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
