Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
