He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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