You work out of a Hotel?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Randomize
