Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
