I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
