Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
