So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
