Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
