so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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