I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
