the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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