This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
