You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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