hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
