I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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