apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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