ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
