Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
