If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
