Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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