Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
