You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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