I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
