Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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