college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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