dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
