Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think my fart just growled at me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
