He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
NoShamevember. You game?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
