doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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