He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
50% drunk capacity currently
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
