why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I would ride that face into the sunset
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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