he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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