you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
