Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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