The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
