I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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