You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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