9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
