He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
