In the future we'll all be gay
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
