Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
