Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
