you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
this hospital has no fireball
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
