WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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