did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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