so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's the barista slut.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
