i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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