he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize